Diary of a Club Pro in Myrtle Beach

I have changed the names of the people in this story because most of us need this job. I have been a member of the Professional Golf Association of America since August of 2000 and am currently the head golf professional of a Golf Digest “America’s Top 100 Public Golf Course.” I am also the clubhouse manager of this particular facility which essentially means that anyone who has a complaint or wants to lodge a beef to be shouted from the heavens in language reserved for shanked wedges and 3 putts is referred to me as quickly as possible by every staff member in the joint... I am also the first guy to be notified when the toilets are backed up and the dumpster is overflowing. When the staff is busy with customers, guess who is plunging away and dumpster diving? If I had a dollar for every dry-cleaned pair of pants I have stained showing some 18-year-old kid who thinks he can play on TOUR how to strategically place a trash bag in a dumpster, I could start my own TOUR and tell that silver-spooned kid to kiss my grease-stained back nine.

 

Enough with the sour grapes, I actually chose this profession and although it is often less than I thought it would be, it is actually more than I ever could imagine. After all, if it wasn’t for guys or gals like me, golf would really be more like a trip to the supermarket.

 

I’ll explain. The supermarket I go to doesn’t give a hoot about me or my preferences. It just wants to get my money and get me out the door. “Please no checks and bag your own groceries.” Who do you think you are - Tiger Woods? Does anyone who plays golf think that a guy like Tiger is going to sell them a shirt or make them dinner reservations or pretend to listen with interest while they describe their latest escapade with the putter or the myriad of physical problems that prevent them from making a good backswing? Of course not, it’s your local PGA professional who is going to do all that and make you believe he or she would almost rather be fitting you for clubs than playing in the upcoming U.S Open at Torrey Pines.

 

We generally like all of our customers, except for the cell phone happy guy or gal. By the way, if you are one of those people, we in the business think you are annoying. Between phone calls from the golf course regarding pace of play other strange behavior in the pro shop, grillroom, driving range etc., I can say that I have pretty much seen it all. Think about the cell phone abuse a minute. I wouldn’t walk into your office at Smith, Smith and Smith and start talking about how drunk I got the night before while you are on a conference call. The pro shop is my office, a little respect please. Don’t get me started on the clowns (males only unfortunately) who try on shirts in the middle of the pro shop when a perfectly-useful dressing room is just steps away. It’s rare to see bodies in that bad a condition outside of the demolition derby at The Myrtle Beach Speedway.

 

Regarding pace of play, do any of you think we like it? After all, it keeps us here longer, increases our operating expenses and upsets our customers. I know, I know. If it were up to you, you and your gun could solve the problem, haven’t heard that one before… Is a murder beef really worth having a extra fifteen minutes to drink beer and flirt with the grill staff before you have to go home and act like a responsible husband and parent? Be patient, go with the flow and know that we are doing our best to keep things moving.

Place the blame where it really belongs on the PGA TOUR and by all of the “chops,” I mean our valued customers who emulate them. Enough said. Have to go, a 50-year-old CEO of a multi-national corporation decided to change his pants in the dining room.

 

Bob Seganti

Head Golf Professional

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