In the Rough - January 9, 2009

Been thinking about this since this story broke in late December....

 

Congratulations Steve Williams, aka "Stevie" bag toter and confidant to his holiness the God of Golf , Tiger Woods. You are officially on my "what kind of idiot jeopardizes a job like that" list. In any profession, there are only so many great jobs, or all-time gigs, and this dude has it.

 

All he has to do is keep his mouth shut and not say what everyone thinks about Phil Mickelson anyway. And the dude can't do it. Now he has been written up, put on probation, and the dreaded "if you're going to be late, you might as well not even come in alert, because you're fired"

 

He broke the sacred code of caddying and now his employment status is subject of an office pool at The Golf Channel studios on when he will get canned.

 

The Sacred Caddy Code:  Show Up, Keep Up and Shut Up!

 

But in reality there are many more and here a few of my favorites:

 

Is it the "avoid growing up" code by doing the same job that 13 year-old-kids do on weekends at most golf courses for movie money? Or if you like, when did paper boys become paper men and start driving cars.......

 

 Is it the "get hammered drunk" code only on the weeknights because the weekend is for "making money"?  But if my man's missed the cut, drinks are on me!

 

Is it the "6 of us caddies sharing a hotel, I mean motel room, because we are free spirits trying to stretch a dollar" code? Most people I know call that either a frat boy road trip or a homeless shelter.

 

Is it the " I'm only responsible for carrying the stuff, not counting clubs up to 14 or making sure my man has enough golf balls" code?  Sounds like the idiot at work who won't bend over to pick up a paper on the office floor because he's not the cleaning lady. I often wonder how far a Foot-Joy golf shoe will go up someone's sorry %$#

 

Is it the " I'm channeling John Travolta from Saturday Night Fever" code with my caddy overalls unbuttoned down to my navel and my gold chains or other neck wear enhancing my special "caddies only tan"? 

 

Is it the "can't wait for my man to sign this flag I tore off the 18th green after his win and put this sucker up for sale on my mother's Ebay account"code? What? You think caddyies have Ebay accounts?

 

Is it the "what the hell are taxes and what kind of service does the Internal Revenue give" code?

 

Is it like that service at the "day spa" in Chattanooga?  In a way it's exactly like that......except there is definitely not a happy ending!

 

My advice to Stevie William is..... Stevie, the next time a reporter asks you a question, shove a wad of $100 bills in your mouth and walk away.

 

Bob Seganti, PGA

 

Plan your next golf vacation by going to www.caledoniagolfvacations.com

 

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When in Myrtle Beach, Tune into the Michelob Light Golf Guys every Saturday morning on ESPN Radio The Team 93.7 1050am 93.9 from 8am to 10am with the legendary Matt Lincoln and Bob Seganti